Johnny Jet: A Little Known Fact About Our Simian

A Little Known Fact About Our Simian
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A little known fact about our Simian
He's an alien terrorist space amphibian

Who fell to earth from the planet where he should have been
And landed by the studios of ITV's Meridian

Which he tried to blow up with nitroglycerine
He'd bought from a dissident group of Palestinians

For the knock down price of only half a million
Then he melted out of sight just like a chameleon

And evolved himself using skills quite Darwinian
From a mutant space being to a compere-cum-comedian

And the Candle Club now is where you'll find our Simeon
Sitting in the corner drinking himself into oblivion