Johnny Jet: Complete Control

Complete Control
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There's gonna be a fight in our front room
And somebody's gonna get hurt real soon
I've looked everywhere, all around the house
But everybody's quiet, as quiet as a mouse
I've looked behind the dogbasket and in the fishbowl
But I can't find the TV remote control

I looked beneath the sofa but all I found was dirt
Some very nasty tissues and my girlfriend's skirt
Two sets of keys, half a kebab,
A pair of Y-fronts I didn't know I had
I even found the hamster that we lost a year ago
But I can't find the TV remote control

So how can I assert my male domination
And God given right to flick between the stations
How can I zap between the girls and the goals
If I can't find the TV remote control

There's gonna be a fight in our front room
And somebody's gonna get hurt real soon
And I'll be facing life without parole
If you don't find the TV remote control.